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My breastfeeding baby is biting my boobs – Oh, The Pain! Oh, The Fear! How I overcame 3 phases of my baby biting during our nursing journey – Charndra’s story

Posted on September 27, 2009
Filed under: Biting

When you have a baby that is biting your nipple, you know about it. Soft nipples, tiny sharp teeth, your baby biting while breastfeeding – really, how unfair is that?

Do you have a baby with a pattern of biting during nursing?

I have been where you are! We’ve had a few ripper phases (not literally!) when my first son, Maven, went through a time of biting when breastfeeding – and we got through them. Weaning was NOT an option, so I tried everything, absolutely everything, and will share those tactics with you below. I also discovered one of those benefits of a continuing breastfeeding relationship: having a baby biting my nipple became a time of personal growth – a way to improve baby’s interpersonal skills and fine-tune my own observation and my mummy-booby radar for nipple preservation. I was surprised at how good I got at it and what we learnt together. I drastically improved my responsiveness and intuition.

You can too: Don’t despair if you have a biter of a baby – you’ll be back to fearless feeding soon enough. I have been through long biting phases, they always pass, just keep on thinking through every possible reason why your baby is biting during breastfeeding and tackle it.

My Baby is Biting While Breastfeeding! Incident no.1 – at 3 months old. Easily Solved

The first time Maven had a go at biting while breastfeeding was around three months. He was still a gummy baby, so ‘ow’, but not much. I had a moment of feeling scared, then used the often recommended technique of gently pushing his head into my boob – he had to release for air, and that was that – it was over in a couple of days. Easily overcome. Another tip was to gently pinch baby’s nostrils closed to encourage them to pull off the breast. I didn’t know of this tip until later.

Many people made remarks once my baby’s teeth started to come in at six months that it was time to wean, as if teeth mean biting, and that this is inevitably the end of a breastfeeding relationship. I was determined that it wouldn’t be when it happened to us. Of course, their first teeth are often the bottom ones, and so they can’t bite when they are breastfeeding with their lower teeth as their tongue covers the teeth, so the ‘danger zone’ is at the end of a feed or as they are falling off asleep.

My Baby is Biting While Breastfeeding! Incident no.2 – at 14 months old. Whoa Nellie!

The second time was the story I wanted to share with you – it was the challenge I had to overcome! For no apparent reason my 14 month old started biting me. He also decided it was fun to pinch, nipple cripple and stretch the boob! Argh! I was freaking out! It hurt like hell! It was a hard few days for the worst of it – I was calling the breastfeeding helpline for reassurance and talking to every breastfeeding mum I came across, and four breastfeeding counsellors, too! I soon learnt that it was best that I avoided sharing my concerns with people not breastfeeding, as all I would get was a knowing smirk and “Time to wean!” comments. The idea of premature weaning was freaking me out! My minimum goal was two years at that point.

Squashing his face into my boob stopped him biting at first, but not always in this phase. Next some homeopathic drops did the trick. Briefly. Then the biting got worse, until I was dreading feeds! I did every tip I could find, talked to counsellors, tried more – I was determined to find the little insight that would help us resolve the biting! I called the Breastfeeding Helpline at 10pm to say: “I need some reassurance about BITING please!” I remember him biting me during the call too – YOUCH!

Mavens biting during nursing at this age was related to his first molars coming through, though some enjoyment crept in as well – the thrill of making Mummy jump! But, it was a stage. We got through it. I’d celebrate small goals – like a bite free feed, a bite free afternoon, a day of no biting (then there would be some again) and we’d be back again to smaller goals. Soon enough he was smiling and laughing with the nipple between his teeth and no fear from me as he was so gentle again. (The FEAR stayed for a while, though – for a while after the biting phase ended.)

One of the counsellors I talked to said her 14 month old had done the same thing for the same length of time – THAT was incredibly reassuring as it stopped – so I had a light at the end of the tunnel. “You WILL get through this” is what I wanted to hear, rather than “Some kids are just persistent biters” – that made me SCARED and more anxious (I knew it but didn’t want to hear it!) Once teething passed, so did the biting… I learnt a new level of observation of his cues, I can tell you! Then, we had a bite free feed, then several, then a half day, then a day, then a bite, then a day, until it passed. It was a two- three month process I think. Then later on he was so gentle and forgot about it; it was as if it hadn’t ever happened!

Thoughts, Tactics and Strategies That Helped Me Get Through the Challenge Of My Baby Biting During Breastfeeding…

What did I do? As I said earlier, I did everything! They are in no particular order – as of course there is no one thing that is guaranteed to work with all little biting people, right? Hopefully one of them will help you if you find yourself in one of these full-on, persistent biting stages.

· Biting is a terribly scary phase, and expect the fear to remain even when the phase passes! (for a little while) · Believe it is a stage, which you will get through, the biting frequency lessens, comes back, lessens then goes, but the fear remains for a while!

· Realise that the biting isn’t personal, or a rejection of you (in case you feel a little of that – I did at times – usually around bedtime) I think of it as they don’t know what to do, so they bite, they get confused, that sort of thing.

· He was also frequently crying out, biting his fingers, rubbing face, ears – teething pain! He’d rouse with a cry or cry out in his sleep in pain. We had some rough nights helping him through it once they started coming through more.

· I think he was in so much pain it hurt to feed. Perhaps he wondered if feeding was the problem, who knows? There was also an enjoyment factor there to the reaction. Due to this, for the first time in his life he fell asleep without the boob at bed time, then several times that night. It was a stage of lesser and faster feeds generally.

· All the while I went from offering less die to fear, and offering often due to wanting to reduce his pain with boob hormones.

· My husband said at one point “Maybe this is why some mothers wean early” I said, “Well, he won’t learn anything from that, and it will disadvantage him, this way he’ll learn a bit about considering and reacting to another person nicely.”

· I’d say “No” and put him down for a few moments. This often upset him, then he’d be ok again on the boob. If he did it twice, that was it for a bit! Actually, I try to say “Stop” as that is an action word, and I can use sign language as well. I also use the ‘hurt’ sign for ‘hurt mummy’. (Tapping two index fingers together was the sign we used for pain, doing the sign over the ‘hurt’ area.) · Consider if your baby may be teething and so having pain. Biting on a cold flannel before may help. One tip I got was to freeze a wash-cloth and offer that for him to bite first. This did work a time or two. Getting him to crunch on some rice crackers first also seemed to help a few times – getting the ‘biting’ out of the way first.

· To keep his attention on me, I would be talking a lot and sing to him while he was feeding to keep his eye, as this would be effective in preventing biting. I realised I was sometimes breastfeeding on auto pilot (who doesn’t) and he’s going “Hey! I’m here!”

· I’d wear a bulky beaded necklace, encourage him to fiddle with it, dangle it, put it in his hand, then shake it, you get the idea – distraction!

· I’d put my finger on his throat so I could feel his swallowing to be on guard, for when he stopped, ready to pluck my nipple out. I learnt to watch for his tongue to go back in (if you can see it, depends on position used) and would pluck him off. I’d get it wrong sometimes of course and he’d howl in indignation and hurt feelings at being pulled off, but well, that was part of our learning too!

· At night, delaying him feeding to sleep at bedtime if he was fluffing around until he was really tired avoided some biting.

· I re-read Norma Jean Bumgarners “Mothering Your Nursing Toddler” section on biting, and felt reassured I also read the Australian Breastfeeding Association’s information on biting as well, in “Breastfeeding Naturally”.

· Talk to breastfeeding mums! Find out specifically what they did if they had a biter.

· Help for the pain – if you think it is teeth and it continues you may consider some paracetamol – this got us over the worst of the ‘molars’ phase in the end. For a time I even gave him teething relief shortly before feeds to relax him.

· One of the most useful strategies was using sign language – I used the sign for ‘hurt’ over my boob, and ‘gentle’ with ‘milk’ before feeds and during feeds. I became skilful at sticking in my pinkie finger, developed a new skill level for feeling HOW he was feeding and his mood.

· I particularly paid attention when he was almost finished and needed to pee. He’d decide that biting was a fun sign that he could use to say he needed to use the potty! How rude. So replacing THAT fast was important – paying attention to the type of feeding resolved that – if he started pulling off, even once, he needed to wee.

· I would keep my eyes on him the whole feed during the day! Watching for the ‘glint’ in his eye when he paused, with my finger nearby to pluck him off. This strategy made him cry a bit a few times as he really was just pausing! But, I had to protect my boobs! So, I’d stay aware of the feel of the suck, the look in his eyes to know when to ‘plip’ my nipple out to safety! Keeping my pinky there at the side of his mouth ready to prise in made him VERY sad, as he knew I didn’t trust him, but it passed.

· If I noticed signs of nearing the end of a feed, and was wondering about swapping him to the other side, I’d ask him if he were finished. This was useful at this age as an attention / discussion point in feeds – adding to our communication. Patting over your boob is the sign – pretty simple. The ‘finished’ sign for us was rubbing our hands together. That is generally a very useful sign to have as time goes on until they can talk.

My Toddler is Biting While Breastfeeding! Incident no.3 – at nearly 2 years old. Another Easy Solution!

The third biting phase we had was around 23 months – it was before he turned two I remember. Thankfully it was a brief one – I guess as I knew a few strategies that would help HIM and got some perfect advice fast. I had actually rung the helpline about soreness – wondering if I had thrush. I learnt his age was another common stage for biting, and was often related to their second molars coming in, and also the fact that he was eating more and getting ready for speech, so that his jaw muscles were changing, effecting their latch. What I did was change his position a bit, and say “Open Wide” at each feed – and that was IT! Phase over! It must have been that with his changing muscles his regular feeding position was awkward or something like that. So he bit.

Looking back, all our biting phases were teething related for us. Terribly scary times, but we got through each in different ways, and learnt many things as well.

I hope if you experience a stage of your baby biting when breastfeeding, that my story will come back to mind and you’ll pop back here to Mary’s wonderful site for some insights and encouragement. You’ll get through it!

Charndra

When you have a baby that is biting your nipple, you know about it. Soft nipples, tiny sharp teeth, your baby biting while breastfeeding – really, how unfair is that?

Do you have a baby with a pattern of biting during nursing?

My Baby is Biting While Breastfeeding! Incident no.1 – at 3 months old. Easily Solved

My Baby is Biting While Breastfeeding! Incident no.2 – at 14 months old. Whoa Nellie!

Breastfeeding at Parliament House The second time was the story I wanted to share with you – it was the challenge I had to overcome! For no apparent reason my 14 month old started biting me. He also decided it was fun to pinch, nipple cripple and stretch the boob! Argh! I was freaking out! It hurt like hell! It was a hard few days for the worst of it – I was calling the breastfeeding helpline for reassurance and talking to every breastfeeding mum I came across, and four breastfeeding counsellors, too! I soon learnt that it was best that I avoided sharing my concerns with people not breastfeeding, as all I would get was a knowing smirk and “Time to wean!” comments. The idea of premature weaning was freaking me out! My minimum goal was two years at that point.

Thoughts, Tactics and Strategies That Helped Me Get Through the Challenge Of My Baby Biting During Breastfeeding…

* Biting is a terribly scary phase, and expect the fear to remain even when the phase passes! (for a little while) · Believe it is a stage, which you will get through, the biting frequency lessens, comes back, lessens then goes, but the fear remains for a while!

* Realise that the biting isn’t personal, or a rejection of you (in case you feel a little of that – I did at times – usually around bedtime) I think of it as they don’t know what to do, so they bite, they get confused, that sort of thing.

* He was also frequently crying out, biting his fingers, rubbing face, ears – teething pain! He’d rouse with a cry or cry out in his sleep in pain. We had some rough nights helping him through it once they started coming through more.

* I think he was in so much pain it hurt to feed. Perhaps he wondered if feeding was the problem, who knows? There was also an enjoyment factor there to the reaction. Due to this, for the first time in his life he fell asleep without the boob at bed time, then several times that night. It was a stage of lesser and faster feeds generally.

* All the while I went from offering less due to fear, and offering often due to wanting to reduce his pain with boob hormones.

* My husband said at one point “Maybe this is why some mothers wean early” I said, “Well, he won’t learn anything from that, and it will disadvantage him, this way he’ll learn a bit about considering and reacting to another person nicely.”

* I’d say “No” and put him down for a few moments. This often upset him, then he’d be ok again on the boob. If he did it twice, that was it for a bit! Actually, I try to say “Stop” as that is an action word, and I can use sign language as well. I also use the ‘hurt’ sign for ‘hurt mummy’. (Tapping two index fingers together was the sign we used for pain, doing the sign over the ‘hurt’ area.) · Consider if your baby may be teething and so having pain. Biting on a cold flannel before may help. One tip I got was to freeze a wash-cloth and offer that for him to bite first. This did work a time or two. Getting him to crunch on some rice crackers first also seemed to help a few times – getting the ‘biting’ out of the way first.

* To keep his attention on me, I would be talking a lot and sing to him while he was feeding to keep his eye, as this would be effective in preventing biting. I realised I was sometimes breastfeeding on auto pilot (who doesn’t) and he’s going “Hey! I’m here!”

* I’d wear a bulky beaded necklace, encourage him to fiddle with it, dangle it, put it in his hand, then shake it, you get the idea – distraction!

* I’d put my finger on his throat so I could feel his swallowing to be on guard, for when he stopped, ready to pluck my nipple out. I learnt to watch for his tongue to go back in (if you can see it, depends on position used) and would pluck him off. I’d get it wrong sometimes of course and he’d howl in indignation and hurt feelings at being pulled off, but well, that was part of our learning too!

* At night, delaying him feeding to sleep at bedtime if he was fluffing around until he was really tired avoided some biting.

* I re-read Norma Jean Bumgarners “Mothering Your Nursing Toddler” section on biting, and felt reassured I also read the Australian Breastfeeding Association’s information on biting as well, in “Breastfeeding Naturally”.

* Talk to breastfeeding mums! Find out specifically what they did if they had a biter.

* Help for the pain – if you think it is teeth and it continues you may consider some paracetamol – this got us over the worst of the ‘molars’ phase in the end. For a time I even gave him teething relief shortly before feeds to relax him.

* One of the most useful strategies was using sign language – I used the sign for ‘hurt’ over my boob, and ‘gentle’ with ‘milk’ before feeds and during feeds. I became skilful at sticking in my pinkie finger, developed a new skill level for feeling HOW he was feeding and his mood.

* I particularly paid attention when he was almost finished and needed to pee. He’d decide that biting was a fun sign that he could use to say he needed to use the potty! How rude. So replacing THAT fast was important – paying attention to the type of feeding resolved that – if he started pulling off, even once, he needed to wee.

* I would keep my eyes on him the whole feed during the day! Watching for the ‘glint’ in his eye when he paused, with my finger nearby to pluck him off. This strategy made him cry a bit a few times as he really was just pausing! But, I had to protect my boobs! So, I’d stay aware of the feel of the suck, the look in his eyes to know when to ‘plip’ my nipple out to safety! Keeping my pinky there at the side of his mouth ready to prise in made him VERY sad, as he knew I didn’t trust him, but it passed.

* If I noticed signs of nearing the end of a feed, and was wondering about swapping him to the other side, I’d ask him if he were finished. This was useful at this age as an attention / discussion point in feeds – adding to our communication. Patting over your boob is the sign – pretty simple. The ‘finished’ sign for us was rubbing our hands together. That is generally a very useful sign to have as time goes on until they can talk.

My Toddler is Biting While Breastfeeding! Incident no.3 – at nearly 2 years old. Another Easy Solution!

Sleeping Maven The third biting phase we had was around 23 months – it was before he turned two I remember. Thankfully it was a brief one – I guess as I knew a few strategies that would help HIM and got some perfect advice fast. I had actually rung the helpline about soreness – wondering if I had thrush. I learnt his age was another common stage for biting, and was often related to their second molars coming in, and also the fact that he was eating more and getting ready for speech, so that his jaw muscles were changing, effecting their latch. What I did was change his position a bit, and say “Open Wide” at each feed – and that was IT! Phase over! It must have been that with his changing muscles his regular feeding position was awkward or something like that. So he bit.

Looking back, all our biting phases were teething related for us. Terribly scary times, but we got through each in different ways, and learnt many things as well.

Charndra

Charndra is the woman behind the brilliant elimination communication courses and resources at Part Time Nappy Free, Part Time Diaper Free and Tribal Baby. Visit her websites to learn how you can reduce your nappy/diaper use.

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Keeping strong – Emily’s story

Posted on September 27, 2009
Filed under: Expressing, Latch problems, Premature baby, Working mothers

Breastfeeding started out a challenge for the two of us. Before my daughter’s birth, support for me breastfeeding was mixed, the negative comments made me want to prove everyone wrong. Even the supporters were saying there was no need to BF after six weeks, due to research, I knew better.

A month early, my daughter was born and stayed in the NICU for ten days. The BF assistant made sure that I received my hospital pump, showed me how to use it and helped me get the tiny bit of colostrum I was making.

When the hospital staff finally allowed me to put my little girl directly on the breast, the BF nurse was right there at my breast helping the two of us manage. My milk came in after day six, the day after I was discharged from the hospital. Even after help from the BF nurse, we continued to struggle with her tiny mouth and my lack of knowledge about breastfeeding.

Due to our latch struggle, I pumped my breast milk for a little over a month. It was exhausting, yet I persevered. I didn’t have enough to store up reserves, so I pumped then fed, pumped then fed, for what seemed an eternity. After a month of this I knew there were only two options- give it all up, or figure it out. Choice one was not an option for me, I was going to figure this out.

After a week of mixed feedings, my daughter and I achieved true BF status. At first there was an uncomfortable tingling as the milk dropped, which gradually faded away. Upon her third month of life, I had to return to work. I am fortunate to work for a European company that provides milk-making-mamas a lockable private room to pump.

It was a lovely 5′x6′ room with two plush chairs, a fridge, sink and tiny lockers to put lock our pumps in. During the year that I pumped at work, I became very close to one of the ladies there, we are still good friends. There is a lot of time to get to know someone when you pump with them, and many opportunities for laughter.

The funny thing about my breastfeeding experience was that my daughter became very jealous if I pretended to let one of her dollies suckle. She did not like that one bit and would holler incomprehensible babble until I took the dolly off.

Around my daughter’s first year, she became less interested in BF, yet I wanted to continue, I knew that it was best for her. As her interest dwindled and my BF support from family and all of my friends but two, I felt pressured to stop BF. My active little girl no longer wanted to cuddle at my breast, she wanted a quick snack and to be off. After a month of this, my breasts were only producing 1/4 cup of milk a day.

From this point on, until my little girl was around two and lost all BF interest, she received my breast for emotional support. She knew they were always there, tucked beneath shirt and bra for her comfort. My daughter, now 2 1/2 still finds my breasts fascinating and giggles when she gets close to them.

Sleeping Babe After a week of mixed feedings, my daughter and I achieved true BF status. At first there was an uncomfortable tingling as the milk dropped, which gradually faded away. Upon her third month of life, I had to return to work. I am fortunate to work for a European company that provides milk-making-mamas a lockable private room to pump.

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What a journey! – Amanda’s story

Posted on September 20, 2009
Filed under: Breastfeeding beyond infancy (2 years +), Breastfeeding through pregnancy, Expressing, Low weight gain

Two years and three months after we began Layla has weaned herself. :) During our breastfeeding relationship she has always been a particularly prolific feeder and I often wondered how we would ever get there but after I became pregnant she cut down to two feeds in 24 hours. Then one day there was no milk and she quite happily accepted that she had drunk all the nummies and they would come back for the baby. I think she dealt with it better than me!

Before Layla was born I felt quite strongly that breastfeeding was natural and important but also thought that I had to get my head around the fact that it may not work for us. I think this came mainly from my sister having trouble and switching to ABM at three months with her first baby. Also because my Mum had bottle fed myself and one of my sisters. She fed my youngest sister for nearly 12 months though so I was hoping that I could do the same. I joined the Australian Breastfeeding Association (ABA) at the urging of my mentor yoga teacher and went to the breastfeeding class at the hospital to prepare. Deep down I wanted to make it to two years but was outwardly preparing for the possibility that I may not.

After Layla was born we were left to ourselves for a couple of hours and she eventually made her way to the breast about an hour after birth. She was smallish at 2.7kg but apart from having no idea what to expect I thought we were doing pretty well. About two days after birth it was recommended that she be comp fed due to jaundice and weight loss while in hospital. She had one cup, 30ml, before it clicked to me that I could be using my own milk. No-one suggested to me that we could use EBM to comp her feeds though so I’m very thankful that I knew enough to suggest it myself. The comping was recommended by a paediatrician who had not even seen her! I was able to access an electric pump in hospital and don’t think I had to worry about storage because it was used within a short time frame. Before leaving hospital I called my local ABA group and organised to pick up a pump on the way home. Once home I continued to pump for a few days but had to return to hospital due to high blood pressure. This was within the first week of being home so I continued pumping in hospital. Once home I continued breastfeeding and giving EBM sporadically.

During the first three weeks, on top of my extra time in hospital, we had grandparents and family visiting from interstate. At the time I didn’t think much of this but in hindsight can see that it affected my establishment of feeding. As well as feeling unsure about breastfeeding and doing it in front of people there were family dinners that we attended and lots of visitors. I can clearly remember thinking we were in a hurry so she could have one breast now and one when we got there. Two years later she still liked to have both sides at a feed so that was never going to work for her! When the MACH nurse visited at three weeks Layla had only gained 50g in 11 days bringing her to 2.6kg so had not regained her birthweight. I was devastated at this visit to hear the nurse refer to Layla as ‘scrawny’ when she rang to book us into the Day Stay Clinic. I called the breastfeeding helpline several times during this period which gave me ongoing reassurance but the most helpful thing I was told was to feed and feed and feed! The counsellor shared her experience with me and suggested I try feeding at least two hourly, basically trying to do nothing but feed for a week and see what impact that had at the next weigh in. So I set myself up on the couch with the phone, fruit, water each day as I worked my way through a DVD boxset of my favourite show. When she was next weighed at four weeks there had been a gain of 120g. For the next couple of months we went through weekly/ fortnightly weighs and Layla continued to have consistent but small gains. During this time her length increased steadily at about 1cm per week and head circumference also increased. She stayed under the third percentile until nearly six months at which point she continued to gain weight in the same pattern until she reached close to the fiftieth at nine months. This then steadied out again and she has been tracking along happily at about the thirtieth percentile ever since. I froze the excess expressed milk in ice cube trays then stored them in labelled bags. It meant that I always had some on hand and came in handy for adding to solids when the time came.

Layla It was a tough time with quite a few times when I questioned my ability to feed her, questioned my confidence in breastfeeding and felt that it was all too hard. Positioning and attachment became the centre of my world and I developed an understanding of the let down reflex and how the breast works that I only thought I’d learnt about before Layla was born. I can clearly remember the day at about three months when I realised that we had just latched on easily and naturally without stepping through the positioning and attachment process. It was finally starting to become easy! My husband’s support during this time was crucial as he had faith in me and my ability to give Layla everything she needed.

We initially tried to introduce solids at around six months but Layla wasn’t particularly keen. She was fed on demand so I didn’t push it then at nearly eight months it clicked. We were having dinner one night when she made it very clear that she was keen to join in. Lots of banging, reaching and squealing! At that meal she at two bowls of mash with veg and never looked back. It didn’t affect her milk intake though. She continued to have about eight feeds during the day, usually two to four feeds between her bedtime and ours as well as feeding overnight two to four times. A total of up to 16 feeds in 24 hours. Around the time she started walking at 14 months Layla upped her feeds even further… She was feeding frequently day and night, up to 20 times in 24 hours. I’m sure it was more some days but I didn’t want to think about it. We discussed night weaning many times and thought about making changes but she seemed to need it and it all seemed too hard when I was so tired. Trying different things like going to bed with Daddy didn’t work either as she just wouldn’t stand for it. She wanted her nummie noo’s and that was that. I was at the point where I could hardly cope with it but kept telling myself it would pass.

At some point during this time her eye teeth both came through together and she stopped feeding for three days. I had no idea as my parenting had so heavily relied on breastfeeding until then. I was totally bamboozled going from all to nothing. Although I found information on how to manage breast refusal in smaller babies none of it seemed to apply to her as she had obviously stopped due to pain. She was still having the odd small feed and I expressed to avoid blocked ducts. We went to visit a friend who is a counsellor one day and I was in tears. Then as suddenly as it stopped she started again. Much easier to deal with than the alternative! We kept rolling along with her feeding day and night. Layla has always increased her feeds before any developmental changes and she had so much going on at that time that I figured it had to end some time. And it did.

Amanda and Layla By eighteen months Layla was sleeping for 4-5 hour chunks between 6pm-6am and started to sleep in her own bed in our room. When she was nearly two we moved house and she moved into her own room. She was really excited about having her own bed and over the next few months started sleeping through most nights. I also had a miscarriage around this time and felt that she needed to drop some feeds during the day so we got down to about five a day. By the time she turned two, about the same time as I got pregnant, we were only having between 6-8 breastfeeds in 24 hours which steadily declined over the past three months. It has now been two weeks since her last feed which was a lovely snugly morning feed in my bed. I feel blessed to have enjoyed such a wonderful experience with her and to have reached my goal of two years. I also made some wonderful supportive friends who share an appreciation for the magical experience of breastfeeding and were with me every step of the way.

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Perseverance is the key – Nicole’s story

Posted on September 18, 2009
Filed under: Caesarean/cesarean birth, Engorgement, Exclusive expressing, Expressing, Latch problems, Low supply

Throughout my pregnancy, I read a few books, went to my antenatal classes and even did a breastfeeding class. I thought about the possible need for me to have a caesarean, what pain relief I would use during labour, when exactly our little boy would arrive – but never once did I worry about breastfeeding. It’s the most natural thing in the world, so it should be easy, right? For a lot of people the answer is yes, but for my darling Jayden and me, sadly it was not.

Due to the fact that Jayden was breech, I was scheduled for a caesarean at 39 weeks. I had the most wonderful birth experience and was back in the room to greet my husband and new baby within a few hours. I was elated, and could not believe this perfect little person was created by us.

After an hour or so back in the room, we tried to breastfeed. Jayden was still so sleepy and didn’t attach or seem at all interested. Fair enough, he was just yanked out of my belly unexpectedly (in his mind) so I thought we’ll give him some time to wake up.

Jayden didn’t wake up properly for a good few days and was quite unsettled as my milk didn’t come in properly until day 5 due to the caesarean. He was very hungry and not getting much at all because he was too tired to feed – what a vicious cycle it was, so hungry because he was too tired to feed, but too tired to feed because he was so hungry. I had the ‘baby blues’ moment early on day 5 when the midwives decided to give him formula with my EBM (what I could get!) – I felt horrible as formula was something I wanted to avoid at all costs. I reluctantly agreed, as I had to look after my little man as he had lost 430g (over 12% of his birth weight) and was getting jaundiced and very unsettled.

I will always remember the moment when I was attached to a double pump at 4am, trying to express what little milk I could get out, whilst feeling like the biggest jersey cow. I watched with tears streaming down my face whilst a midwife (a total stranger, in my eyes!) was feeding MY baby. Why couldn’t I do that? What made my body so incompetent that I couldn’t do the one thing that nature intended it to do?

The pump must have done its job, as later that morning my milk came in, and I suddenly resembled a Dolly Parton impersonator. Unfortunately, we now had another problem in that because my breasts were so engorged, he couldn’t attach properly. Nevertheless, I continued to try and offer him the breast at regular intervals.

I had a light bulb moment later that day. After seeing how Jayden quickly demolished the bottle of formula, and now that my milk was in, I decided to try expressing again and feeding it to him in a bottle. All the staff were supportive of this idea, so I got pumping – and the liquid gold flowed.

Now came the biggest test – would Jayden drink it? Yes – he would! You have no idea the amount of relief I felt knowing that I COULD feed my baby MY milk – okay, it might be through other means other than my nipples, but he was still going to get all the lovely liquid gold and nutrients that I was producing for him.

So on it went – I expressed every single feed for my 2-3 hourly fed baby for the first 5ish weeks of his life. Looking back now I think how hard it actually was (especially when my poor husband was trying to sleep next to me with the breast pump going!), but at the time it was just something I had to do for Jayden.

I would always offer the breast to Jayden before the EBM, in the hope that he would attach and feed. The day that he actually attached properly, and I saw him happily sucking away was one of the best days of my life. I nearly jumped off the chair – in fact I would have, if he wasn’t still attached!

This could quite easily be the end of my story, happy ending right here. However, we had another spanner thrown in the works when Jayden was about 14 weeks old. One day I woke up – and suddenly had no milk. After having a fabulous supply with fast letdown, it was just suddenly gone. I couldn’t express anything, and Jayden couldn’t get anything out! I tried to keep Jayden on the breast all day to stimulate the supply, but the poor thing was crying, I was crying, it was just a horrible, horrible day.

Thankfully I was able to get to the Doctor who prescribed some Maxalon which worked straight away, and we were back on our breastfeeding journey again. Phew!

Now THIS is the happy ending.

Jayden is now 14 months old – and still breastfeeding. :)

He was exclusively breastfed until just after 6 months old when we started solids, has been demand fed otherwise. He currently feeds morning and night, and during the day 1-2 time before sleeps.

My initial goal was to get to 6 months, then 12 months and now…we’ll see. I am not going to put a timeline on it; I am just going to let our little man decide when he’s had enough.

It could have been so easy to give up, especially when faced with professionals who didn’t see the big deal about offering formula. I am so glad I didn’t though; I love the bond Jayden and I share when he is feeding, it is like our own little special time together.

I am so glad that I persevered and I feel very proud to know that our little man has been given the best start to life that I could possibly provide him with.

1 Comment

Breast-milk feeding a cleft palate baby – Jayne and Sienna’s story

Posted on September 15, 2009
Filed under: Cleft lip/palate, Exclusive expressing, Expressing, Latch problems

This article in a slightly abridged form first appeared in Nurture magazine’s Winter edition 2009. It’s taken a long time to write (4 + years!) and was hard to be honest, due to the emotions I experienced being unable to breastfeed my daughter the ‘traditional’ way. I hope this is of interest to someone, and may even inspire someone else to do similar. Breast Milk is a baby’s birth right. While I have nothing but sympathy for women unable to breastfeed, and would never ‘blame’ anyone for feeling exclusive expressing is too difficult-I also want to reassure some for whom exclusive expressing may be an option that it is very worthwhile and while not easy at times, very rewarding and perhaps, less difficult than some might imagine.

Warning-this is LONG!!

Just as I was due to give birth to my second child, my first born was aged 3 years and 8 months-and was still breastfeeding morning and night. Liam and I had weathered the trials of the early days of breastfeeding together, and had come out victorious. The fact that I was still breastfeeding, with no plans to wean him at almost age 4 is due to my belief in the benefits of breast milk for toddlers and older children. It’s safe to say I was and am quite a lactavist. And it puzzled me why others didn’t always feel the same way. Sure breastfeeding was sometimes hard-but ultimately rewarding. I had little understanding about the reasons why some women couldn’t breast-feed-really there wasn’t all that much to it was there?

So while I was anxious about other issues surrounding the imminent birth and arrival of my daughter, breastfeeding her wasn’t something I anticipated having any problem with at all. In the early hours following her birth, she suckled a few times half heartedly, but soon gave up. A highly alert baby from the very second her head pushed out into the world, Sienna seemed more interested in observing those around her than in feeding. So the fact she didn’t seem to feed nor attach properly for several hours didn’t concern either the midwives or me. She was probably both tired from a difficult labour, and not all that interested.

Eventually though, hunger go the better of her, and her interest in feeding was piqued by the juicy colostrum on offer. She still couldn’t seem to get a proper ‘grip’ and after a few minutes gave up. I still wasn’t concerned-after all it had taken weeks for Liam to learn to attach. However, a maternity ward nurse noticed something that had pretty much not even crossed my radar yet-the fact that milk was coming out of Sienna’s nose. She informed me she was just taking my baby off for a couple of minutes to examine her, and would bring her back very soon.

Of course, this immediately set alarm bells ringing. I tried to stay calm-but internally I was panicking-why would they take her away like that? I’d had one baby already, I knew that wasn’t usual. The negative voices in my head battled with the voices of reason, alternately screaming ‘something is very wrong!’ and ‘It’s nothing, she’s probably just checking for jaundice or something else normal like that’. When Sienna was returned 5 or so minutes later, by the nurse, the panic levels had risen a notch or 10. However the nurse was matter of fact. “Sorry to worry you, your daughter is fine-but I just needed to check something I suspected-and it turns out I was right. Your baby has a cleft palate-she has a hole in the roof of her mouth. It’s ok, it’s easily fixed these days by surgery. But she isn’t able to get the vacuum seal required to breast feed, so she’ll need to be bottle fed. We’ll go get the equipment and show you”.

I was gobsmacked. In 5 short minutes the relatively uncomplicated existence I had foreseen bonding with my newborn baby, snuggling up in bed to breastfeed and getting to know each other had forever been altered by the utterance of those 6 words ‘she’ll have to be bottle-fed’. Just like that-so matter of fact, and yet so devastating. I thought stupidly, “But I’m a passionate breast feeder! I can’t bottle feed!” It seemed inconceivable. I knew at the back of my mind I ought to be grateful it was nothing too bad- this thing after all could be fixed. I knew nothing about clefts, and the fear and uncertainty about the whole medical side of that especially the idea of my baby facing surgery would come later. At that moment however, all I could think was that they were wrong-I refused to bottle feed, that’s not who I am!

After a few minutes discussion with the hospital staff however, I soon realised that if I wanted my baby to thrive it was in fact going to be necessary to bottle feed her. Babies with cleft palates usually cannot attach to breastfeed, because due to the air escaping out the top of their mouth where the cleft is, they are unable to form the airtight seal required to form the action. So really there was only one thing to say; “Ok then. I need a breast pump”. Because I had functioning, lactating breasts-and as long as I had functioning boobies, my baby would have breast milk. I gave strict instructions that absolutely NO formula was to pass her lips. I think my expression and general demeanour was such that no one in that room dared to argue! Instead, a lactation consultant armed with blue hospital issue Medela pump was despatched to my room immediately, and so began the process of learning to express full time for my newborn daughter.

Sitting in the nursery every couple of hours (when the portable pump wasn’t available) attached to a pump that looked like something out of a 1800s steam train engine, trying to stimulate the let down reflex in such a completely artificial environment and manner was a surreal experience. I am sure the nurses thought me odd insisting on having Sienna in her plastic cradle next to me at all times, rather than lined up with all the other nursery babies. Aside from wanting her close because I am an attached parent, having her to look at, and imagine she was really suckling at my breast (rather than the sterile, inanimate pump) was the best way to stimulate letdown. During these first few hours and days I felt sadness creep in at times, but I was determined not to let it take over. I just couldn’t afford to feel that too much; to allow this to defeat my resolve to feed my child exclusive breast milk, as I believed was her birthright. I was so lucky to have lovely supportive midwives and a LC to help me at this time. During the first day of expressing, they brought the pump to me for every feed, because I’d had a post partum haemorrhage requiring blood transfusion and couldn’t get out of bed. The LC spent hours with me, and gave me a calendar from her office with a picture of the Italian town Siena on it, because of my daughter’s name. Small kindnesses like this made it much easier to cope with the challenges of full time pumping. Friends, family and my independent midwife came and visited and brought me information printed from the internet about cleft palates and breastfeeding. They said it was OK to be sad I couldn’t breastfeed her. But I buried that feeling down deep, because I didn’t want to feel it. I was completely scared of falling in a heap and succumbing again to post natal depression as I had in the weeks after my son was born. I just had to make this work-it was as simple as that.

After coming home from the hospital my milk came in full force, and I was expressing at least 250 mls per breast each time. This was immensely satisfying. Despite the annoyance factor of having to get out the pump, wash and sterilise bottles instead of just putting my newborn on the breast I loved watching that gorgeous white-yellow milk flow into the bottles. I loved stocking the fridge up with bottles, and I loved bottle-feeding my baby staring into her eyes, in my arms or in the sling, just as if I were breastfeeding. I was fortunate to have a lovely MCHN and LC from the local MCHC come out, who were fully supportive, even pro attachment parenting and gave me loads of praise and encouragement to keep going with the expressing. The only dodgy bit of advice I ever received was from a hospital midwife on a home visit, who told me I was producing too much milk-she said my body ‘thought it was feeding twins’ and advised me to increase the amount of time in between expressings. Just as stupidly, I followed this advice. Of course my supply diminished, and I cursed myself for listening. As a result, I had to go onto galactagogues such as fenugreek, oats, Motilium and the occasional Guinness sooner to build up my supply. When full time expressing, it is good for your body to produce more in the early days, because you can freeze it and stockpile for later when the supply will naturally drop. To keep milk supply up, not only must you feed every 2-3 hours or so, but the actual action of the baby sucking works to promote and stimulate supply. Of course you don’t get that when expressing. And it’s very hard to keep up expressing every 2 hours over a long period of time. You just…get over it. And your boobs hurt.

I would sometimes curse that I had to get up to express during the night. I co-slept so by rights I should have only had to turn over and let Sienna attach. I’d gotten up to my first baby who slept in a bassinet in my room for the first few months, and experienced massive sleep deprivation as a result. I’d looked forward to full time co sleeping from birth with my second child, and felt ripped off that even as a co-sleeper, to feed her necessitated getting out of bed. Likewise I cursed the fact that the days of grabbing the baby, a couple of nappies and a change of clothes and rushing out the door were gone. Going out sometimes required the planning and logistics of a military operation. Bottles? Check. EBM? Check. Cooler bag for EBM? Check. Breast pump? Check? Bottle warmer? Check. Extra bottles…and so on. I am most definitely NOT an organised, routine oriented type person! I found this aspect extremely challenging.

It wasn’t all bad however. In some ways it gave me more freedom-I could leave Sienna with her dad or my Mum and have some time to myself-to work, study or just relax. I found other ways to form a bond with my baby, such as baby-wearing and skin to skin contacts. The sadness never left completely but it faded-and was largely replaced with gratitude for her health. Sienna was exclusively breast milk fed for one week short of 7 months. At which point she began eating solids, and a week later, some formula was necessary. At 12 months of age in addition to food, she was drinking a ratio of around 80% breast milk and 20% formula. At 15 months it was around 60% breast milk, 40% cow’s milk. And at 20 month it was 30% breast milk and 70% cow’s milk. I expressed until she was 21 months of age, and was getting a pathetic 15-20 mls. I then decided it was time to stop. I had wanted to reach 2 years-but at that point there didn’t seem much point continuing for such a paltry amount. Not to mention I was OVER it. If I never saw another breast pump in my life, it’d be too soon!!

The benefits to Sienna’s heath were obvious when after having the surgery to fix her palate, the nurses all commented that her recovery was one of the fastest they’d ever seen. I just smiled and said ‘Breast milk ‘! And knowing she had that foundation for a healthy gut allows me to worry less that now as a fussy 4 year old her diet is often less than optimal! Being unable to breastfeed also gave me insight and increased compassion to those mothers who are unable to breast feed. Inability to breastfeed when you really want to is a kind of emotional torture. Giving formula when you know it’s not the optimal food, but you have no other choice hurts. It insidiously worms its way into your inbuilt mother-guilt gene, and taunts you with feelings of failure, self doubt, and inadequacy. I will never again judge (even unthinkingly) anyone who tried their best to breastfeed but wasn’t able to. I am not the first and won’t be the last to solely express for my baby. I was so proud and grateful though that I was able to do this for my child. As parents often we find we need to extend our parenting, in ways we hadn’t ever imagined we would. This was the first way I did this for my daughter.

Warning-this is LONG!!

Newborn

sienna-in-sling

Sitting in the nursery every couple of hours (when the portable pump wasn’t available) attached to a pump that looked like something out of a 1800s steam train engine, trying to stimulate the let down reflex in such a completely artificial environment and manner was a surreal experience. I am sure the nurses thought me odd insisting on having Sienna in her plastic cradle next to me at all times, rather than lined up with all the other nursery babies. Aside from wanting her close because I am an attached parent, having her to look at, and imagine she was really suckling at my breast (rather than the sterile, inanimate pump) was the best way to stimulate letdown. During these first few hours and days I felt sadness creep in at times, but I was determined not to let it take over. I just couldn’t afford to feel that too much; to allow this to defeat my resolve to feed my child exclusive breast milk, as I believed was her birthright. I was so lucky to have lovely supportive midwives and a lactation consultant (LC) to help me at this time. During the first day of expressing, they brought the pump to me for every feed, because I’d had a post partum haemorrhage requiring blood transfusion and couldn’t get out of bed. The LC spent hours with me, and gave me a calendar from her office with a picture of the Italian town Siena on it, because of my daughter’s name. Small kindnesses like this made it much easier to cope with the challenges of full time pumping. Friends, family and my independent midwife came and visited and brought me information printed from the internet about cleft palates and breastfeeding. They said it was OK to be sad I couldn’t breastfeed her. But I buried that feeling down deep, because I didn’t want to feel it. I was completely scared of falling in a heap and succumbing again to post natal depression as I had in the weeks after my son was born. I just had to make this work-it was as simple as that.

After coming home from the hospital my milk came in full force, and I was expressing at least 250 mls per breast each time. This was immensely satisfying. Despite the annoyance factor of having to get out the pump, wash and sterilise bottles instead of just putting my newborn on the breast I loved watching that gorgeous white-yellow milk flow into the bottles. I loved stocking the fridge up with bottles, and I loved bottle-feeding my baby staring into her eyes, in my arms or in the sling, just as if I were breastfeeding. I was fortunate to have a lovely Maternal and Child Health Nurse (MCHN) and LC from the local Maternal and Child Health Clinic come out, who were fully supportive, even pro attachment parenting and gave me loads of praise and encouragement to keep going with the expressing. The only dodgy bit of advice I ever received was from a hospital midwife on a home visit, who told me I was producing too much milk-she said my body ‘thought it was feeding twins’ and advised me to increase the amount of time in between expressings. Just as stupidly, I followed this advice. Of course my supply diminished, and I cursed myself for listening. As a result, I had to go onto galactagogues such as fenugreek, oats, Motilium and the occasional Guinness sooner to build up my supply. When full time expressing, it is good for your body to produce more in the early days, because you can freeze it and stockpile for later when the supply will naturally drop. To keep milk supply up, not only must you feed every 2-3 hours or so, but the actual action of the baby sucking works to promote and stimulate supply. Of course you don’t get that when expressing. And it’s very hard to keep up expressing every 2 hours over a long period of time. You just…get over it. And your boobs hurt.

Sienna-b&w

sienna

Jayne is the author of Spiralmumma and the woman behind the Australian-based online attachment parenting community, Alternative Baby. You can read Jayne’s story about breastfeeding her first child, Liam, right here on ibreastfed.com.

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