Nursing my child through a medical condition – Shara’s story
Posted on October 6, 2009
Filed under: Baby medical condition, Baby surgery
My son was born ten years ago with numerous medical complications to his right eye. The eye had to be removed ten days following his first birthday. It was certainly not easy making the commitment to nurse that year. A number of times I wanted to give up. With the pain he was in, he wanted to nurse every hour or so for those first 12 months. I was exhausted and mentally drained. He barely slept much because the pain from his eye caused severe headaches, etc. The nursing and bonding gave him comfort and each time I discussed it with the doctor he said, “Don’t give up yet! He needs you right now. This is all he has, making him feel safe and comforted!” So I pushed through – for 16 months. At that point, my son walked over the fridge and hit the door and yelled out “Milk!” I figured – if he could outright ask for milk, it was time to stop nursing :-) I have NEVER regretted pushing through that year. Nursing my son before and after all 3 surgeries, offering him that closeness and bonding…not to mention the nutrients. Since then I have nursed two more children.
Two premmies and tongue-tie, one successfully breastfed – Sally’s story
Posted on September 29, 2009
Filed under: Exclusive expressing, Expressing, Premature baby, Tounge tie
I always planned to breastfeed my babies, why wouldn’t I? It’s the most natural thing in the world. My plans went downhill when at 28 weeks my waters broke. My little boy was born at 30+1 weeks weighing just 1545 grams (3lb 6oz) He spent 6 weeks in the NICU before coming home, I was never given the opportunity to fully breastfeed before discharge and we came on using a nipple shield.
We hit many obstacles including, poor weight gain, week suck and tongue tie. I was never able to fully breastfeed him as he would get too tired, therefore for 5 months I expressed for Brendan. My milk eventually dried up and even after seeking professional help, which wasn’t helpful (I was in a remote community and only had 1 Dr and 1 community child health nurse) I am very proud to have made 5.5 months of full EBM with NO FORMULA!
When I was pregnant with my second child, I was even more determined to get him to breastfeed. I armed myself with lots of information and knew that should I run into milk supply troubles there were things I could do to help. At just 26 weeks I went into pre-mature labour. Thankfully they were able to stop it and I was given steroids to help my baby’s lungs. I kept going into labour until eventually, at 34+2 weeks, they decided not to stop it anymore. Tristan was born at 34+3 and spent just 6 days in NICU and 2 days rooming in with me. Tristan is also tongue-tied, but not to the same extent Brendan was and therefore breastfeeding is easier for us. He was fully suck fed by day 3 and fully breastfed by day 7. He too started off on a nipple shield, due to jaundice making him sleepy, I was able to wean him off by just 3 weeks of age. Tristan is now 3 ½ months old, fully breastfed and sleeping through the night (9:30 till 7:30)!!. He was given formula in the first 6 days when there wasn’t enough EBM for him.
Update (Jan 2010): Tristan is now 6.5 months old and still breastfeeding!
I have found a recipe for lactation cookies which help increase my supply on down days or when I am sick. They are fantastic and have got me through a few rough patches. They are very addictive and anyone can eat them :D My 2yo LOVES them!
Housepoet’s Famous Lactation Boosting Oatmeal, Chocolate Chip & Flaxseed cookies
Serves: 6 dozen cookies
Preparation time: 15 minutes
Ingredients:
- * 1 cup butter or marg
- * 1 cup sugar
- * 1 cup brown sugar
- * 4 tablespoons water
- * 2 tablespoons flaxseed meal (can be found at any local health food store)
- * 2 large eggs
- * 1 teaspoon vanilla
- * 2 cups flour
- * 1 teaspoon baking soda
- * 1 teaspoon salt
- * 3 cups oats, thick cut if you can get them
- * 1 cup or more chocolate chips
- * 2 tablespoons of brewers yeast (be generous) (IT MUST BE BREWERS YEAST, NO SUBSTITUTIONS)
Directions:
- * Preheat oven at 375 degrees F.
- * Mix together 2 tablespoons of flaxseed meal and water, set aside for 3-5 minutes.
- * Cream (beat well) margarine and sugar. Add eggs one at a time, mix well.
- * Stir flaxseed mixture and add with vanilla to the margarine mix. Beat until blended.
- * Sift together dry ingredients, except oats and chips. Add to margarine mixture. Stir in oats then chips.
- * Scoop or drop onto baking sheet, preferably lined with parchment or silpat. The dough is a little crumbly, so it helps to use a scoop.
- * Bake 8-12 minutes, depending on size of cookies.
I make mine into 2 slices, just make sure the slice is no thinker than a cookie. It’s quicker and easier that way, especially with kiddies running around :-D
My breastfeeding baby is biting my boobs – Oh, The Pain! Oh, The Fear! How I overcame 3 phases of my baby biting during our nursing journey – Charndra’s story
Posted on September 27, 2009
Filed under: Biting
When you have a baby that is biting your nipple, you know about it. Soft nipples, tiny sharp teeth, your baby biting while breastfeeding – really, how unfair is that?
Do you have a baby with a pattern of biting during nursing?
I have been where you are! We’ve had a few ripper phases (not literally!) when my first son, Maven, went through a time of biting when breastfeeding – and we got through them. Weaning was NOT an option, so I tried everything, absolutely everything, and will share those tactics with you below. I also discovered one of those benefits of a continuing breastfeeding relationship: having a baby biting my nipple became a time of personal growth – a way to improve baby’s interpersonal skills and fine-tune my own observation and my mummy-booby radar for nipple preservation. I was surprised at how good I got at it and what we learnt together. I drastically improved my responsiveness and intuition.
You can too: Don’t despair if you have a biter of a baby – you’ll be back to fearless feeding soon enough. I have been through long biting phases, they always pass, just keep on thinking through every possible reason why your baby is biting during breastfeeding and tackle it.
My Baby is Biting While Breastfeeding! Incident no.1 – at 3 months old. Easily Solved
The first time Maven had a go at biting while breastfeeding was around three months. He was still a gummy baby, so ‘ow’, but not much. I had a moment of feeling scared, then used the often recommended technique of gently pushing his head into my boob – he had to release for air, and that was that – it was over in a couple of days. Easily overcome. Another tip was to gently pinch baby’s nostrils closed to encourage them to pull off the breast. I didn’t know of this tip until later.
Many people made remarks once my baby’s teeth started to come in at six months that it was time to wean, as if teeth mean biting, and that this is inevitably the end of a breastfeeding relationship. I was determined that it wouldn’t be when it happened to us. Of course, their first teeth are often the bottom ones, and so they can’t bite when they are breastfeeding with their lower teeth as their tongue covers the teeth, so the ‘danger zone’ is at the end of a feed or as they are falling off asleep.
My Baby is Biting While Breastfeeding! Incident no.2 – at 14 months old. Whoa Nellie!
The second time was the story I wanted to share with you – it was the challenge I had to overcome! For no apparent reason my 14 month old started biting me. He also decided it was fun to pinch, nipple cripple and stretch the boob! Argh! I was freaking out! It hurt like hell! It was a hard few days for the worst of it – I was calling the breastfeeding helpline for reassurance and talking to every breastfeeding mum I came across, and four breastfeeding counsellors, too! I soon learnt that it was best that I avoided sharing my concerns with people not breastfeeding, as all I would get was a knowing smirk and “Time to wean!” comments. The idea of premature weaning was freaking me out! My minimum goal was two years at that point.
Squashing his face into my boob stopped him biting at first, but not always in this phase. Next some homeopathic drops did the trick. Briefly. Then the biting got worse, until I was dreading feeds! I did every tip I could find, talked to counsellors, tried more – I was determined to find the little insight that would help us resolve the biting! I called the Breastfeeding Helpline at 10pm to say: “I need some reassurance about BITING please!” I remember him biting me during the call too – YOUCH!
Mavens biting during nursing at this age was related to his first molars coming through, though some enjoyment crept in as well – the thrill of making Mummy jump! But, it was a stage. We got through it. I’d celebrate small goals – like a bite free feed, a bite free afternoon, a day of no biting (then there would be some again) and we’d be back again to smaller goals. Soon enough he was smiling and laughing with the nipple between his teeth and no fear from me as he was so gentle again. (The FEAR stayed for a while, though – for a while after the biting phase ended.)
One of the counsellors I talked to said her 14 month old had done the same thing for the same length of time – THAT was incredibly reassuring as it stopped – so I had a light at the end of the tunnel. “You WILL get through this” is what I wanted to hear, rather than “Some kids are just persistent biters” – that made me SCARED and more anxious (I knew it but didn’t want to hear it!) Once teething passed, so did the biting… I learnt a new level of observation of his cues, I can tell you! Then, we had a bite free feed, then several, then a half day, then a day, then a bite, then a day, until it passed. It was a two- three month process I think. Then later on he was so gentle and forgot about it; it was as if it hadn’t ever happened!
Thoughts, Tactics and Strategies That Helped Me Get Through the Challenge Of My Baby Biting During Breastfeeding…
What did I do? As I said earlier, I did everything! They are in no particular order – as of course there is no one thing that is guaranteed to work with all little biting people, right? Hopefully one of them will help you if you find yourself in one of these full-on, persistent biting stages.
* Biting is a terribly scary phase, and expect the fear to remain even when the phase passes! (for a little while) · Believe it is a stage, which you will get through, the biting frequency lessens, comes back, lessens then goes, but the fear remains for a while!
* Realise that the biting isn’t personal, or a rejection of you (in case you feel a little of that – I did at times – usually around bedtime) I think of it as they don’t know what to do, so they bite, they get confused, that sort of thing.
* He was also frequently crying out, biting his fingers, rubbing face, ears – teething pain! He’d rouse with a cry or cry out in his sleep in pain. We had some rough nights helping him through it once they started coming through more.
* I think he was in so much pain it hurt to feed. Perhaps he wondered if feeding was the problem, who knows? There was also an enjoyment factor there to the reaction. Due to this, for the first time in his life he fell asleep without the boob at bed time, then several times that night. It was a stage of lesser and faster feeds generally.
* All the while I went from offering less due to fear, and offering often due to wanting to reduce his pain with boob hormones.
* My husband said at one point “Maybe this is why some mothers wean early” I said, “Well, he won’t learn anything from that, and it will disadvantage him, this way he’ll learn a bit about considering and reacting to another person nicely.”
* I’d say “No” and put him down for a few moments. This often upset him, then he’d be ok again on the boob. If he did it twice, that was it for a bit! Actually, I try to say “Stop” as that is an action word, and I can use sign language as well. I also use the ‘hurt’ sign for ‘hurt mummy’. (Tapping two index fingers together was the sign we used for pain, doing the sign over the ‘hurt’ area.) · Consider if your baby may be teething and so having pain. Biting on a cold flannel before may help. One tip I got was to freeze a wash-cloth and offer that for him to bite first. This did work a time or two. Getting him to crunch on some rice crackers first also seemed to help a few times – getting the ‘biting’ out of the way first.
* To keep his attention on me, I would be talking a lot and sing to him while he was feeding to keep his eye, as this would be effective in preventing biting. I realised I was sometimes breastfeeding on auto pilot (who doesn’t) and he’s going “Hey! I’m here!”
* I’d wear a bulky beaded necklace, encourage him to fiddle with it, dangle it, put it in his hand, then shake it, you get the idea – distraction!
* I’d put my finger on his throat so I could feel his swallowing to be on guard, for when he stopped, ready to pluck my nipple out. I learnt to watch for his tongue to go back in (if you can see it, depends on position used) and would pluck him off. I’d get it wrong sometimes of course and he’d howl in indignation and hurt feelings at being pulled off, but well, that was part of our learning too!
* At night, delaying him feeding to sleep at bedtime if he was fluffing around until he was really tired avoided some biting.
* I re-read Norma Jean Bumgarners “Mothering Your Nursing Toddler” section on biting, and felt reassured I also read the Australian Breastfeeding Association’s information on biting as well, in “Breastfeeding Naturally”.
* Talk to breastfeeding mums! Find out specifically what they did if they had a biter.
* Help for the pain – if you think it is teeth and it continues you may consider some paracetamol – this got us over the worst of the ‘molars’ phase in the end. For a time I even gave him teething relief shortly before feeds to relax him.
* One of the most useful strategies was using sign language – I used the sign for ‘hurt’ over my boob, and ‘gentle’ with ‘milk’ before feeds and during feeds. I became skilful at sticking in my pinkie finger, developed a new skill level for feeling HOW he was feeding and his mood.
* I particularly paid attention when he was almost finished and needed to pee. He’d decide that biting was a fun sign that he could use to say he needed to use the potty! How rude. So replacing THAT fast was important – paying attention to the type of feeding resolved that – if he started pulling off, even once, he needed to wee.
* I would keep my eyes on him the whole feed during the day! Watching for the ‘glint’ in his eye when he paused, with my finger nearby to pluck him off. This strategy made him cry a bit a few times as he really was just pausing! But, I had to protect my boobs! So, I’d stay aware of the feel of the suck, the look in his eyes to know when to ‘plip’ my nipple out to safety! Keeping my pinky there at the side of his mouth ready to prise in made him VERY sad, as he knew I didn’t trust him, but it passed.
* If I noticed signs of nearing the end of a feed, and was wondering about swapping him to the other side, I’d ask him if he were finished. This was useful at this age as an attention / discussion point in feeds – adding to our communication. Patting over your boob is the sign – pretty simple. The ‘finished’ sign for us was rubbing our hands together. That is generally a very useful sign to have as time goes on until they can talk.
My Toddler is Biting While Breastfeeding! Incident no.3 – at nearly 2 years old. Another Easy Solution!
The third biting phase we had was around 23 months – it was before he turned two I remember. Thankfully it was a brief one – I guess as I knew a few strategies that would help HIM and got some perfect advice fast. I had actually rung the helpline about soreness – wondering if I had thrush. I learnt his age was another common stage for biting, and was often related to their second molars coming in, and also the fact that he was eating more and getting ready for speech, so that his jaw muscles were changing, effecting their latch. What I did was change his position a bit, and say “Open Wide” at each feed – and that was IT! Phase over! It must have been that with his changing muscles his regular feeding position was awkward or something like that. So he bit.
Looking back, all our biting phases were teething related for us. Terribly scary times, but we got through each in different ways, and learnt many things as well.
I hope if you experience a stage of your baby biting when breastfeeding, that my story will come back to mind and you’ll pop back here to Mary’s wonderful site for some insights and encouragement. You’ll get through it!
Charndra
Charndra is the woman behind the brilliant elimination communication courses and resources at Part Time Nappy Free, Part Time Diaper Free and Tribal Baby. Visit her websites to learn how you can reduce your nappy/diaper use.
Keeping strong – Emily’s story
Posted on September 27, 2009
Filed under: Expressing, Latch problems, Premature baby, Working mothers
Breastfeeding started out a challenge for the two of us. Before my daughter’s birth, support for me breastfeeding was mixed, the negative comments made me want to prove everyone wrong. Even the supporters were saying there was no need to BF after six weeks, due to research, I knew better.
A month early, my daughter was born and stayed in the NICU for ten days. The BF assistant made sure that I received my hospital pump, showed me how to use it and helped me get the tiny bit of colostrum I was making.
When the hospital staff finally allowed me to put my little girl directly on the breast, the BF nurse was right there at my breast helping the two of us manage. My milk came in after day six, the day after I was discharged from the hospital. Even after help from the BF nurse, we continued to struggle with her tiny mouth and my lack of knowledge about breastfeeding.
Due to our latch struggle, I pumped my breast milk for a little over a month. It was exhausting, yet I persevered. I didn’t have enough to store up reserves, so I pumped then fed, pumped then fed, for what seemed an eternity. After a month of this I knew there were only two options- give it all up, or figure it out. Choice one was not an option for me, I was going to figure this out.
After a week of mixed feedings, my daughter and I achieved true BF status. At first there was an uncomfortable tingling as the milk dropped, which gradually faded away. Upon her third month of life, I had to return to work. I am fortunate to work for a European company that provides milk-making-mamas a lockable private room to pump.
It was a lovely 5′x6′ room with two plush chairs, a fridge, sink and tiny lockers to put lock our pumps in. During the year that I pumped at work, I became very close to one of the ladies there, we are still good friends. There is a lot of time to get to know someone when you pump with them, and many opportunities for laughter.
The funny thing about my breastfeeding experience was that my daughter became very jealous if I pretended to let one of her dollies suckle. She did not like that one bit and would holler incomprehensible babble until I took the dolly off.
Around my daughter’s first year, she became less interested in BF, yet I wanted to continue, I knew that it was best for her. As her interest dwindled and my BF support from family and all of my friends but two, I felt pressured to stop BF. My active little girl no longer wanted to cuddle at my breast, she wanted a quick snack and to be off. After a month of this, my breasts were only producing 1/4 cup of milk a day.
From this point on, until my little girl was around two and lost all BF interest, she received my breast for emotional support. She knew they were always there, tucked beneath shirt and bra for her comfort. My daughter, now 2 1/2 still finds my breasts fascinating and giggles when she gets close to them.
What a journey! – Amanda’s story
Posted on September 20, 2009
Filed under: Breastfeeding beyond infancy (2 years +), Breastfeeding through pregnancy, Expressing, Low weight gain
Two years and three months after we began Layla has weaned herself. :) During our breastfeeding relationship she has always been a particularly prolific feeder and I often wondered how we would ever get there but after I became pregnant she cut down to two feeds in 24 hours. Then one day there was no milk and she quite happily accepted that she had drunk all the nummies and they would come back for the baby. I think she dealt with it better than me!
Before Layla was born I felt quite strongly that breastfeeding was natural and important but also thought that I had to get my head around the fact that it may not work for us. I think this came mainly from my sister having trouble and switching to ABM at three months with her first baby. Also because my Mum had bottle fed myself and one of my sisters. She fed my youngest sister for nearly 12 months though so I was hoping that I could do the same. I joined the Australian Breastfeeding Association (ABA) at the urging of my mentor yoga teacher and went to the breastfeeding class at the hospital to prepare. Deep down I wanted to make it to two years but was outwardly preparing for the possibility that I may not.
After Layla was born we were left to ourselves for a couple of hours and she eventually made her way to the breast about an hour after birth. She was smallish at 2.7kg but apart from having no idea what to expect I thought we were doing pretty well. About two days after birth it was recommended that she be comp fed due to jaundice and weight loss while in hospital. She had one cup, 30ml, before it clicked to me that I could be using my own milk. No-one suggested to me that we could use EBM to comp her feeds though so I’m very thankful that I knew enough to suggest it myself. The comping was recommended by a paediatrician who had not even seen her! I was able to access an electric pump in hospital and don’t think I had to worry about storage because it was used within a short time frame. Before leaving hospital I called my local ABA group and organised to pick up a pump on the way home. Once home I continued to pump for a few days but had to return to hospital due to high blood pressure. This was within the first week of being home so I continued pumping in hospital. Once home I continued breastfeeding and giving EBM sporadically.
During the first three weeks, on top of my extra time in hospital, we had grandparents and family visiting from interstate. At the time I didn’t think much of this but in hindsight can see that it affected my establishment of feeding. As well as feeling unsure about breastfeeding and doing it in front of people there were family dinners that we attended and lots of visitors. I can clearly remember thinking we were in a hurry so she could have one breast now and one when we got there. Two years later she still liked to have both sides at a feed so that was never going to work for her! When the MACH nurse visited at three weeks Layla had only gained 50g in 11 days bringing her to 2.6kg so had not regained her birthweight. I was devastated at this visit to hear the nurse refer to Layla as ‘scrawny’ when she rang to book us into the Day Stay Clinic. I called the breastfeeding helpline several times during this period which gave me ongoing reassurance but the most helpful thing I was told was to feed and feed and feed! The counsellor shared her experience with me and suggested I try feeding at least two hourly, basically trying to do nothing but feed for a week and see what impact that had at the next weigh in. So I set myself up on the couch with the phone, fruit, water each day as I worked my way through a DVD boxset of my favourite show. When she was next weighed at four weeks there had been a gain of 120g. For the next couple of months we went through weekly/ fortnightly weighs and Layla continued to have consistent but small gains. During this time her length increased steadily at about 1cm per week and head circumference also increased. She stayed under the third percentile until nearly six months at which point she continued to gain weight in the same pattern until she reached close to the fiftieth at nine months. This then steadied out again and she has been tracking along happily at about the thirtieth percentile ever since. I froze the excess expressed milk in ice cube trays then stored them in labelled bags. It meant that I always had some on hand and came in handy for adding to solids when the time came.
It was a tough time with quite a few times when I questioned my ability to feed her, questioned my confidence in breastfeeding and felt that it was all too hard. Positioning and attachment became the centre of my world and I developed an understanding of the let down reflex and how the breast works that I only thought I’d learnt about before Layla was born. I can clearly remember the day at about three months when I realised that we had just latched on easily and naturally without stepping through the positioning and attachment process. It was finally starting to become easy! My husband’s support during this time was crucial as he had faith in me and my ability to give Layla everything she needed.
We initially tried to introduce solids at around six months but Layla wasn’t particularly keen. She was fed on demand so I didn’t push it then at nearly eight months it clicked. We were having dinner one night when she made it very clear that she was keen to join in. Lots of banging, reaching and squealing! At that meal she at two bowls of mash with veg and never looked back. It didn’t affect her milk intake though. She continued to have about eight feeds during the day, usually two to four feeds between her bedtime and ours as well as feeding overnight two to four times. A total of up to 16 feeds in 24 hours. Around the time she started walking at 14 months Layla upped her feeds even further… She was feeding frequently day and night, up to 20 times in 24 hours. I’m sure it was more some days but I didn’t want to think about it. We discussed night weaning many times and thought about making changes but she seemed to need it and it all seemed too hard when I was so tired. Trying different things like going to bed with Daddy didn’t work either as she just wouldn’t stand for it. She wanted her nummie noo’s and that was that. I was at the point where I could hardly cope with it but kept telling myself it would pass.
At some point during this time her eye teeth both came through together and she stopped feeding for three days. I had no idea as my parenting had so heavily relied on breastfeeding until then. I was totally bamboozled going from all to nothing. Although I found information on how to manage breast refusal in smaller babies none of it seemed to apply to her as she had obviously stopped due to pain. She was still having the odd small feed and I expressed to avoid blocked ducts. We went to visit a friend who is a counsellor one day and I was in tears. Then as suddenly as it stopped she started again. Much easier to deal with than the alternative! We kept rolling along with her feeding day and night. Layla has always increased her feeds before any developmental changes and she had so much going on at that time that I figured it had to end some time. And it did.
By eighteen months Layla was sleeping for 4-5 hour chunks between 6pm-6am and started to sleep in her own bed in our room. When she was nearly two we moved house and she moved into her own room. She was really excited about having her own bed and over the next few months started sleeping through most nights. I also had a miscarriage around this time and felt that she needed to drop some feeds during the day so we got down to about five a day. By the time she turned two, about the same time as I got pregnant, we were only having between 6-8 breastfeeds in 24 hours which steadily declined over the past three months. It has now been two weeks since her last feed which was a lovely snugly morning feed in my bed. I feel blessed to have enjoyed such a wonderful experience with her and to have reached my goal of two years. I also made some wonderful supportive friends who share an appreciation for the magical experience of breastfeeding and were with me every step of the way.
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