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My breastfeeding baby is biting my boobs – Oh, The Pain! Oh, The Fear! How I overcame 3 phases of my baby biting during our nursing journey – Charndra’s story

Posted on September 27, 2009
Filed under: Biting

When you have a baby that is biting your nipple, you know about it. Soft nipples, tiny sharp teeth, your baby biting while breastfeeding – really, how unfair is that?

Do you have a baby with a pattern of biting during nursing?

I have been where you are! We’ve had a few ripper phases (not literally!) when my first son, Maven, went through a time of biting when breastfeeding – and we got through them. Weaning was NOT an option, so I tried everything, absolutely everything, and will share those tactics with you below. I also discovered one of those benefits of a continuing breastfeeding relationship: having a baby biting my nipple became a time of personal growth – a way to improve baby’s interpersonal skills and fine-tune my own observation and my mummy-booby radar for nipple preservation. I was surprised at how good I got at it and what we learnt together. I drastically improved my responsiveness and intuition.

You can too: Don’t despair if you have a biter of a baby – you’ll be back to fearless feeding soon enough. I have been through long biting phases, they always pass, just keep on thinking through every possible reason why your baby is biting during breastfeeding and tackle it.

My Baby is Biting While Breastfeeding! Incident no.1 – at 3 months old. Easily Solved

The first time Maven had a go at biting while breastfeeding was around three months. He was still a gummy baby, so ‘ow’, but not much. I had a moment of feeling scared, then used the often recommended technique of gently pushing his head into my boob – he had to release for air, and that was that – it was over in a couple of days. Easily overcome. Another tip was to gently pinch baby’s nostrils closed to encourage them to pull off the breast. I didn’t know of this tip until later.

Many people made remarks once my baby’s teeth started to come in at six months that it was time to wean, as if teeth mean biting, and that this is inevitably the end of a breastfeeding relationship. I was determined that it wouldn’t be when it happened to us. Of course, their first teeth are often the bottom ones, and so they can’t bite when they are breastfeeding with their lower teeth as their tongue covers the teeth, so the ‘danger zone’ is at the end of a feed or as they are falling off asleep.

My Baby is Biting While Breastfeeding! Incident no.2 – at 14 months old. Whoa Nellie!

The second time was the story I wanted to share with you – it was the challenge I had to overcome! For no apparent reason my 14 month old started biting me. He also decided it was fun to pinch, nipple cripple and stretch the boob! Argh! I was freaking out! It hurt like hell! It was a hard few days for the worst of it – I was calling the breastfeeding helpline for reassurance and talking to every breastfeeding mum I came across, and four breastfeeding counsellors, too! I soon learnt that it was best that I avoided sharing my concerns with people not breastfeeding, as all I would get was a knowing smirk and “Time to wean!” comments. The idea of premature weaning was freaking me out! My minimum goal was two years at that point.

Squashing his face into my boob stopped him biting at first, but not always in this phase. Next some homeopathic drops did the trick. Briefly. Then the biting got worse, until I was dreading feeds! I did every tip I could find, talked to counsellors, tried more – I was determined to find the little insight that would help us resolve the biting! I called the Breastfeeding Helpline at 10pm to say: “I need some reassurance about BITING please!” I remember him biting me during the call too – YOUCH!

Mavens biting during nursing at this age was related to his first molars coming through, though some enjoyment crept in as well – the thrill of making Mummy jump! But, it was a stage. We got through it. I’d celebrate small goals – like a bite free feed, a bite free afternoon, a day of no biting (then there would be some again) and we’d be back again to smaller goals. Soon enough he was smiling and laughing with the nipple between his teeth and no fear from me as he was so gentle again. (The FEAR stayed for a while, though – for a while after the biting phase ended.)

One of the counsellors I talked to said her 14 month old had done the same thing for the same length of time – THAT was incredibly reassuring as it stopped – so I had a light at the end of the tunnel. “You WILL get through this” is what I wanted to hear, rather than “Some kids are just persistent biters” – that made me SCARED and more anxious (I knew it but didn’t want to hear it!) Once teething passed, so did the biting… I learnt a new level of observation of his cues, I can tell you! Then, we had a bite free feed, then several, then a half day, then a day, then a bite, then a day, until it passed. It was a two- three month process I think. Then later on he was so gentle and forgot about it; it was as if it hadn’t ever happened!

Thoughts, Tactics and Strategies That Helped Me Get Through the Challenge Of My Baby Biting During Breastfeeding…

What did I do? As I said earlier, I did everything! They are in no particular order – as of course there is no one thing that is guaranteed to work with all little biting people, right? Hopefully one of them will help you if you find yourself in one of these full-on, persistent biting stages.

· Biting is a terribly scary phase, and expect the fear to remain even when the phase passes! (for a little while) · Believe it is a stage, which you will get through, the biting frequency lessens, comes back, lessens then goes, but the fear remains for a while!

· Realise that the biting isn’t personal, or a rejection of you (in case you feel a little of that – I did at times – usually around bedtime) I think of it as they don’t know what to do, so they bite, they get confused, that sort of thing.

· He was also frequently crying out, biting his fingers, rubbing face, ears – teething pain! He’d rouse with a cry or cry out in his sleep in pain. We had some rough nights helping him through it once they started coming through more.

· I think he was in so much pain it hurt to feed. Perhaps he wondered if feeding was the problem, who knows? There was also an enjoyment factor there to the reaction. Due to this, for the first time in his life he fell asleep without the boob at bed time, then several times that night. It was a stage of lesser and faster feeds generally.

· All the while I went from offering less die to fear, and offering often due to wanting to reduce his pain with boob hormones.

· My husband said at one point “Maybe this is why some mothers wean early” I said, “Well, he won’t learn anything from that, and it will disadvantage him, this way he’ll learn a bit about considering and reacting to another person nicely.”

· I’d say “No” and put him down for a few moments. This often upset him, then he’d be ok again on the boob. If he did it twice, that was it for a bit! Actually, I try to say “Stop” as that is an action word, and I can use sign language as well. I also use the ‘hurt’ sign for ‘hurt mummy’. (Tapping two index fingers together was the sign we used for pain, doing the sign over the ‘hurt’ area.) · Consider if your baby may be teething and so having pain. Biting on a cold flannel before may help. One tip I got was to freeze a wash-cloth and offer that for him to bite first. This did work a time or two. Getting him to crunch on some rice crackers first also seemed to help a few times – getting the ‘biting’ out of the way first.

· To keep his attention on me, I would be talking a lot and sing to him while he was feeding to keep his eye, as this would be effective in preventing biting. I realised I was sometimes breastfeeding on auto pilot (who doesn’t) and he’s going “Hey! I’m here!”

· I’d wear a bulky beaded necklace, encourage him to fiddle with it, dangle it, put it in his hand, then shake it, you get the idea – distraction!

· I’d put my finger on his throat so I could feel his swallowing to be on guard, for when he stopped, ready to pluck my nipple out. I learnt to watch for his tongue to go back in (if you can see it, depends on position used) and would pluck him off. I’d get it wrong sometimes of course and he’d howl in indignation and hurt feelings at being pulled off, but well, that was part of our learning too!

· At night, delaying him feeding to sleep at bedtime if he was fluffing around until he was really tired avoided some biting.

· I re-read Norma Jean Bumgarners “Mothering Your Nursing Toddler” section on biting, and felt reassured I also read the Australian Breastfeeding Association’s information on biting as well, in “Breastfeeding Naturally”.

· Talk to breastfeeding mums! Find out specifically what they did if they had a biter.

· Help for the pain – if you think it is teeth and it continues you may consider some paracetamol – this got us over the worst of the ‘molars’ phase in the end. For a time I even gave him teething relief shortly before feeds to relax him.

· One of the most useful strategies was using sign language – I used the sign for ‘hurt’ over my boob, and ‘gentle’ with ‘milk’ before feeds and during feeds. I became skilful at sticking in my pinkie finger, developed a new skill level for feeling HOW he was feeding and his mood.

· I particularly paid attention when he was almost finished and needed to pee. He’d decide that biting was a fun sign that he could use to say he needed to use the potty! How rude. So replacing THAT fast was important – paying attention to the type of feeding resolved that – if he started pulling off, even once, he needed to wee.

· I would keep my eyes on him the whole feed during the day! Watching for the ‘glint’ in his eye when he paused, with my finger nearby to pluck him off. This strategy made him cry a bit a few times as he really was just pausing! But, I had to protect my boobs! So, I’d stay aware of the feel of the suck, the look in his eyes to know when to ‘plip’ my nipple out to safety! Keeping my pinky there at the side of his mouth ready to prise in made him VERY sad, as he knew I didn’t trust him, but it passed.

· If I noticed signs of nearing the end of a feed, and was wondering about swapping him to the other side, I’d ask him if he were finished. This was useful at this age as an attention / discussion point in feeds – adding to our communication. Patting over your boob is the sign – pretty simple. The ‘finished’ sign for us was rubbing our hands together. That is generally a very useful sign to have as time goes on until they can talk.

My Toddler is Biting While Breastfeeding! Incident no.3 – at nearly 2 years old. Another Easy Solution!

The third biting phase we had was around 23 months – it was before he turned two I remember. Thankfully it was a brief one – I guess as I knew a few strategies that would help HIM and got some perfect advice fast. I had actually rung the helpline about soreness – wondering if I had thrush. I learnt his age was another common stage for biting, and was often related to their second molars coming in, and also the fact that he was eating more and getting ready for speech, so that his jaw muscles were changing, effecting their latch. What I did was change his position a bit, and say “Open Wide” at each feed – and that was IT! Phase over! It must have been that with his changing muscles his regular feeding position was awkward or something like that. So he bit.

Looking back, all our biting phases were teething related for us. Terribly scary times, but we got through each in different ways, and learnt many things as well.

I hope if you experience a stage of your baby biting when breastfeeding, that my story will come back to mind and you’ll pop back here to Mary’s wonderful site for some insights and encouragement. You’ll get through it!

Charndra

When you have a baby that is biting your nipple, you know about it. Soft nipples, tiny sharp teeth, your baby biting while breastfeeding – really, how unfair is that?

Do you have a baby with a pattern of biting during nursing?

My Baby is Biting While Breastfeeding! Incident no.1 – at 3 months old. Easily Solved

My Baby is Biting While Breastfeeding! Incident no.2 – at 14 months old. Whoa Nellie!

Breastfeeding at Parliament House The second time was the story I wanted to share with you – it was the challenge I had to overcome! For no apparent reason my 14 month old started biting me. He also decided it was fun to pinch, nipple cripple and stretch the boob! Argh! I was freaking out! It hurt like hell! It was a hard few days for the worst of it – I was calling the breastfeeding helpline for reassurance and talking to every breastfeeding mum I came across, and four breastfeeding counsellors, too! I soon learnt that it was best that I avoided sharing my concerns with people not breastfeeding, as all I would get was a knowing smirk and “Time to wean!” comments. The idea of premature weaning was freaking me out! My minimum goal was two years at that point.

Thoughts, Tactics and Strategies That Helped Me Get Through the Challenge Of My Baby Biting During Breastfeeding…

* Biting is a terribly scary phase, and expect the fear to remain even when the phase passes! (for a little while) · Believe it is a stage, which you will get through, the biting frequency lessens, comes back, lessens then goes, but the fear remains for a while!

* Realise that the biting isn’t personal, or a rejection of you (in case you feel a little of that – I did at times – usually around bedtime) I think of it as they don’t know what to do, so they bite, they get confused, that sort of thing.

* He was also frequently crying out, biting his fingers, rubbing face, ears – teething pain! He’d rouse with a cry or cry out in his sleep in pain. We had some rough nights helping him through it once they started coming through more.

* I think he was in so much pain it hurt to feed. Perhaps he wondered if feeding was the problem, who knows? There was also an enjoyment factor there to the reaction. Due to this, for the first time in his life he fell asleep without the boob at bed time, then several times that night. It was a stage of lesser and faster feeds generally.

* All the while I went from offering less due to fear, and offering often due to wanting to reduce his pain with boob hormones.

* My husband said at one point “Maybe this is why some mothers wean early” I said, “Well, he won’t learn anything from that, and it will disadvantage him, this way he’ll learn a bit about considering and reacting to another person nicely.”

* I’d say “No” and put him down for a few moments. This often upset him, then he’d be ok again on the boob. If he did it twice, that was it for a bit! Actually, I try to say “Stop” as that is an action word, and I can use sign language as well. I also use the ‘hurt’ sign for ‘hurt mummy’. (Tapping two index fingers together was the sign we used for pain, doing the sign over the ‘hurt’ area.) · Consider if your baby may be teething and so having pain. Biting on a cold flannel before may help. One tip I got was to freeze a wash-cloth and offer that for him to bite first. This did work a time or two. Getting him to crunch on some rice crackers first also seemed to help a few times – getting the ‘biting’ out of the way first.

* To keep his attention on me, I would be talking a lot and sing to him while he was feeding to keep his eye, as this would be effective in preventing biting. I realised I was sometimes breastfeeding on auto pilot (who doesn’t) and he’s going “Hey! I’m here!”

* I’d wear a bulky beaded necklace, encourage him to fiddle with it, dangle it, put it in his hand, then shake it, you get the idea – distraction!

* I’d put my finger on his throat so I could feel his swallowing to be on guard, for when he stopped, ready to pluck my nipple out. I learnt to watch for his tongue to go back in (if you can see it, depends on position used) and would pluck him off. I’d get it wrong sometimes of course and he’d howl in indignation and hurt feelings at being pulled off, but well, that was part of our learning too!

* At night, delaying him feeding to sleep at bedtime if he was fluffing around until he was really tired avoided some biting.

* I re-read Norma Jean Bumgarners “Mothering Your Nursing Toddler” section on biting, and felt reassured I also read the Australian Breastfeeding Association’s information on biting as well, in “Breastfeeding Naturally”.

* Talk to breastfeeding mums! Find out specifically what they did if they had a biter.

* Help for the pain – if you think it is teeth and it continues you may consider some paracetamol – this got us over the worst of the ‘molars’ phase in the end. For a time I even gave him teething relief shortly before feeds to relax him.

* One of the most useful strategies was using sign language – I used the sign for ‘hurt’ over my boob, and ‘gentle’ with ‘milk’ before feeds and during feeds. I became skilful at sticking in my pinkie finger, developed a new skill level for feeling HOW he was feeding and his mood.

* I particularly paid attention when he was almost finished and needed to pee. He’d decide that biting was a fun sign that he could use to say he needed to use the potty! How rude. So replacing THAT fast was important – paying attention to the type of feeding resolved that – if he started pulling off, even once, he needed to wee.

* I would keep my eyes on him the whole feed during the day! Watching for the ‘glint’ in his eye when he paused, with my finger nearby to pluck him off. This strategy made him cry a bit a few times as he really was just pausing! But, I had to protect my boobs! So, I’d stay aware of the feel of the suck, the look in his eyes to know when to ‘plip’ my nipple out to safety! Keeping my pinky there at the side of his mouth ready to prise in made him VERY sad, as he knew I didn’t trust him, but it passed.

* If I noticed signs of nearing the end of a feed, and was wondering about swapping him to the other side, I’d ask him if he were finished. This was useful at this age as an attention / discussion point in feeds – adding to our communication. Patting over your boob is the sign – pretty simple. The ‘finished’ sign for us was rubbing our hands together. That is generally a very useful sign to have as time goes on until they can talk.

My Toddler is Biting While Breastfeeding! Incident no.3 – at nearly 2 years old. Another Easy Solution!

Sleeping Maven The third biting phase we had was around 23 months – it was before he turned two I remember. Thankfully it was a brief one – I guess as I knew a few strategies that would help HIM and got some perfect advice fast. I had actually rung the helpline about soreness – wondering if I had thrush. I learnt his age was another common stage for biting, and was often related to their second molars coming in, and also the fact that he was eating more and getting ready for speech, so that his jaw muscles were changing, effecting their latch. What I did was change his position a bit, and say “Open Wide” at each feed – and that was IT! Phase over! It must have been that with his changing muscles his regular feeding position was awkward or something like that. So he bit.

Looking back, all our biting phases were teething related for us. Terribly scary times, but we got through each in different ways, and learnt many things as well.

Charndra

Charndra is the woman behind the brilliant elimination communication courses and resources at Part Time Nappy Free, Part Time Diaper Free and Tribal Baby. Visit her websites to learn how you can reduce your nappy/diaper use.

Filed under: Biting

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2 Responses to “My breastfeeding baby is biting my boobs – Oh, The Pain! Oh, The Fear! How I overcame 3 phases of my baby biting during our nursing journey – Charndra’s story”

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Penny on January 8th, 2010 11:48 pm

Thank you for this. My first baby was a persistent biter and my second looks like she is going the same way at five months. Glad to know I am not alone.

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