ibreastfed.com

It was all worth it! – Trudy’s story

Posted on March 13, 2009
Filed under: Expressing, Latch problems, Nipple pain, Nipple shields, Premature baby, Thrush, Tube feeding

My first baby surprised us by arriving four and a half weeks early. She was very little weighing only 5lb 13oz and had the most beautiful but teeny rosebud mouth. I was a 12E with quite large nipple so we had some problems from the first feed. I found it painful but was told that it would rapidly improve.

Cheyenne joined me on the ward for the first night but the next day she had a bath, lost all her body heat, went hypothermic, then blue as she stopped breathing. It was the most terrifying moment of my life as she was all wrapped up next to me and it was my husband that noticed her colour. If he hadn’t been there she would have died. She was put on oxygen and under the heat lamps in the SCN. A feeding tube was inserted as she would fall asleep only a minute or so into a feed.

Three days old I was told the amounts I needed to express and also told that if I didn’t get those amounts then she would be given formula. There was no way I was going to allow her to have formula so I was determined to express every drop she needed. That proved a challenge in itself. My breasts stubbornly refused to give up the colostrum via a breast pump even though there was more than enough there so the only option was to hand express. After trying and failing to do it myself the midwives did it for me. Those first few days were difficult. The expressing hurt me as the midwives were having to be very firm to get the milk out (darn stubborn boobies!) and I felt a little stripped of my dignity. After a few days my milk came in properly and I was able to start expressing with a pump which was a huge relief to me. I managed the whole time to always get enough milk to avoid formula or bottles.

When Chey was four days old the tube was removed and I started to breastfeed her. The pain was toe curling and though I had all the midwives helping me the pain never went away. I kept being told to get more of the nipple into her mouth but she was so tiny and could only get the nipple and a small part of the areola in. Day six and Chey joined me on the ward. I was told that if I could keep her awake for full breastfeeds for 24 hours I could take her home. I made it through and even though the breastfeeds were still agony for me I kept quiet because by this stage it didn’t feel like anyone was going to be able to help make it better anyway.

We went home on day seven with one of my nipples cracked the entire way around the base. At home I used lansinoh after every feed and just put up with the pain. It got to a point where my husband couldn’t be in the same room with me when I fed as I would be crying from the pain the whole way through and he couldn’t stand to see me in so much pain. By the end of the second week I couldn’t take it anymore. I phoned my friend and told her I was sending Leigh down to buy some formula as I just couldn’t take the pain anymore. I had seen several midwives who all told me she seemed to be attached just fine but the pain never went away. My nipples were bleeding and hurt when anything brushed up against them no matter how softly and I was starting to get scared of the feeds.

Julie told me to just hold off for a bit. She arrived at my house 15 minutes later to a crying me and a screaming hungry 2 week old with a nipple shield in hand. She showed me how to use it and I sat down to give it a go. It had pain (but less) for about 30 seconds as my nipple was pulled into the shield and then nothing but a dull ache from the crack. Things improved from there, my cracked nipples healed within a week and we fed well. A couple of times a week I would try feeding her without the shield but every time it was pure agony for the whole feed and I still visited with lactation consultants every couple of weeks. They told me that her attachment was fine (without the shield) and that if I didn’t start feeding without the shield that it would adversely affect my milk supply. I told them what I told anyone who asked, it’s the shield or formula.

13 months old At four months everything just clicked and I was able to feed without the shield, it was awesome and I felt as though I had just been biding my time and THIS is where my breastfeeding journey was going to start. A month after this the two of us got thrush. That was yet another challenge as even though we were both being treated it seemed to come and go but never really went away. I felt like razor blades were being drawn across my nipples. We battled through for two months before it was finally beaten. I think it would have been harder to take and easier to give up if I hadn’t already been through everything that I had. By this stage there was no way that I was going to give up breastfeeding regardless of the pain. I did express some milk to give myself a bit of a break but Chey flat out refused to take a bottle so I just rode it out until things got good again.

By seven months breastfeeding was everything I imagined it would be. I loved doing it and Chey loved it as well. Thankfully we had no more problems and she self weaned at 13 months. I would have liked to continue for another couple of months at least but I was not devastated about it, just a bit disappointed. By that stage I was only feeding her once a day in any case.

I am so grateful to my friend Julie who really single-handedly saved me from giving up in my darkest moment. If she hadn’t come to my rescue I know this would have been a much sadder tale.

Filed under: Expressing, Latch problems, Nipple pain, Nipple shields, Premature baby, Thrush, Tube feeding