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Fighting the odds, but ending up tandem nursing! – Kate’s story

Posted on March 15, 2009
Filed under: Breastfeeding through pregnancy, Expressing, Nipple pain, Strong letdown, Tandem feeding

When I was pregnant with my first baby, I knew I would breastfeed. I HAD to. It was not a choice for me, I did not feel that ‘as long as she eats she’ll be fine.’ A lot of people felt this meant that I thought I was somehow better than them, which I did not. Breastfeeding was just a major part of being a mother for me.

Then my daughter was born. For the first day, she latched on great (after her initial confusion, during which the lactation nurse simply shoved my breast into her mouth) and fed for 20 – 40 minutes at a time. But that night when we got home, she never seemed satisfied, and she cried all night. My husband and I both tried to sleep but were exhausted. Nothing helped. I ended up cuddling her on the couch around 7 am so my husband could sleep, talking to her constantly and allowing her to suck on my finger (the only thing that quieted her). When he got up at 8, he ended up giving her formula. I hated it but she was hungry and I didn’t have any support and didn’t seem to have any milk.

We continued supplementing (but still breastfeeding) for the next day or so, until my milk came in. I remember going to bed one night with my breasts feeling shriveled and deflated, and waking up to them being very full. Unfortunately, they were so full and my milk flowed so fast that my daughter could not nurse properly. The hand pump didn’t get anything, and I didn’t have access to anything else. One day, when she was 4 days old, I tried to feed her every 15 – 20 minutes but she would just latch on momentarily then pull off and scream. Not knowing anything about breastfeeding or babies, I figured she was just not really hungry. After 12 hours of this, she just cried and cried. I didn’t know what to do and I called the nurse. She said to feed her however I could, if I could pump and use a syringe, fine, if not, give formula. I still didn’t have a pump so I gave some formula the hospital had given us. She drank 3 oz. and immediately fell asleep and I felt like a horrible mother who couldn’t even feed her baby.

After that she got formula through the night so I could sleep, and the next day we went and bought a double electric pump. This worked well and I got 10 oz. the first time. I continued to try to nurse every few days but she would just scream. So I decided I would just pump and feed, because at least she would be getting breastmilk.

This worked for awhile, but then I couldn’t pump enough (even though I was pumping every 2 hours during the day and every 4 – 5 at night) for her. She seemed to want to cluster-nurse in the evenings, but still wouldn’t actually nurse, so we had to give her about 2 oz. of formula every night. I hated it. But I hated her crying even more.

Finally, just before she turned 6 weeks old, I decided that enough was enough. I would not supplement anymore, and I would get her to latch on for real. One day I upped my pumping as much as I could to get rid of the supplementing (which worked!) and two days later I sat down and latched her on. Miracle – it worked! I finally realized that I had a really strong letdown, and she could not deal with it when she was so little. At 6 weeks, she could. She could also nurse lying down (finally!). Everything fell into place.

We never supplemented or had to pump again (although on rare occasions if I needed to pump, as I worked from home a few hours a week, she would take a bottle still). But, then there was the pain. For about a month it hurt so badly I wanted to cry every time I nursed. I could not stand anything brushing against my nipples, even my soft bra. By the time they stopped hurting after a feeding, it was time to feed again. I used tons of cream, and cold patches, and took lots of baths. In time, it was better.

But around this time, I started to feel very weak, and my joints started to hurt. Every time I nursed I felt like my “essence” was being “stolen.” As crazy as that sounds I felt like every bit of energy I had was being sucked out. I had stopped taking my vitamins late in pregnancy due to constipation that led to bright red cervical bleeding (and therefore preterm labor risk, so my doctor said) and hadn’t started again. My joints got more and more sore, until my knees, elbows, and wrists hurt so much that I could barely walk or even pick up my daughter. I was sick all the time and I just felt awful. I was determined to make it a full year but I just felt so horrible that it seemed impossibly far away.

Finally I thought that maybe I should try taking my vitamins again to see if that would help. And it did! Magically, in just a couple of days the joint soreness was gone, I was no longer sick, I had energy again. From here on out, breastfeeding was easy! For real!

When my daughter was 9 months old, I found out I was pregnant again. I had heard horror stories about losing one’s milk supply within just a few weeks and I prayed that would not happen. I had done a lot of researching, and although it initially sounded weird to me, I wanted to keep nursing through pregnancy and then tandem nurse. I was determined to allow my daughter to self-wean.

Between 11 and 12 months, she went through a period where she did not want to nurse very much. We were nursing 4 times a day, upon waking, before naps, and before bed. But suddenly she’d refuse to nurse at those times (except morning). I was sad but kept offering to see what she’d do. I knew I wasn’t losing my milk, I constantly checked. Just after her birthday, she changed her nursing behavior significantly – becoming a comfort nurser for the first time, and wanting to nurse where and when and how SHE chose. Which became very frequent.

I passed each milestone with apprehension – 4 weeks, 8 weeks, 12 weeks, 16 weeks. I didn’t lose my milk supply. It didn’t even seem to go down at all. We’re now at 21 weeks, and my daughter is almost 14 months old, and we are still going strong! I am excited to continue to nurse her when her little brother (yes, brother!) comes along, as I am anticipating that it will help greatly with sibling rivalry. I am so glad that I got through those early struggles, because nursing is the BEST mommy tool that I have, and I believe it will continue to be invaluable. And as a small added bonus, continuing to nurse throughout pregnancy means that I will not experience the soreness and adjustment to breastfeeding the second time around!

Filed under: Breastfeeding through pregnancy, Expressing, Nipple pain, Strong letdown, Tandem feeding